Maybe the perfect motorcycle?
"A panty dropper" ??
http://clarksville.craigslist.org/mcy/4536315149.html
"A panty dropper" ??
http://clarksville.craigslist.org/mcy/4536315149.html
Perfect Motorcycle??
- Thread starter OldRider
- Start date
The text is hilarious!
Feast your eyes on the most badass Harley Davidson in the state of Tennessee. This panty dropper is a 2008 Dyna Low-rider with about 9000 ass kicking, bar hoppin, tattoo getting miles on it. This beast of a bike doesn't have sissy shiny chrome all over it that reflects the sun straight into your eyes so you lose your chance to flip off the sandal wearing hippie on his Vespa that eagerly flaps his hands at you attempting to wave because he thinks he is a biker. Instead, this bike has black powder coat, and lots of it. This powder coat not only looks brutal but causes everyone who sees you on your bike to wish they had balls the size of yours and hadn't spent all their banker bunks on their expensive shiny chrome accessories that cost triple the price of a champion game rooster injected with jaguar blood. This Harley also has a sexy Mustang solo seat that massages your ass every sweet twist of the throttle. The seat comes with a bitch pad that can be put on with a single bolt. This pad works in conjunction with the thunder sounding Vanes and Hines pipes that drowns out the passenger's voice so you can hear the sweet thumping of a combustion engine instead of nagging sounds of "my ass is hurting, can we take a break?". There are many other extras on the bike that are not suitable for craigslist, and if you've read some of the shit on craigslist then you know you are in for some ruthless accessories.
******MUST READ*********
If you are currently wearing a pink shirt or sandals, have no tattoos, never shot gunned a PBR, a vegetarian, over 60, never owned a bike before, eat a chic-filet without your wife or girlfriend, shave your legs or arms, put gel in your hair, order a 'virgin' anything, never killed something, go to a Salon instead of a Barber Shop, or any combination of the above, DO NOT WASTE MY TIME AND CONTACT ME. THIS BIKE IS TOO BRUTAL AND MANLY FOR YOU!!!!
Feast your eyes on the most badass Harley Davidson in the state of Tennessee. This panty dropper is a 2008 Dyna Low-rider with about 9000 ass kicking, bar hoppin, tattoo getting miles on it. This beast of a bike doesn't have sissy shiny chrome all over it that reflects the sun straight into your eyes so you lose your chance to flip off the sandal wearing hippie on his Vespa that eagerly flaps his hands at you attempting to wave because he thinks he is a biker. Instead, this bike has black powder coat, and lots of it. This powder coat not only looks brutal but causes everyone who sees you on your bike to wish they had balls the size of yours and hadn't spent all their banker bunks on their expensive shiny chrome accessories that cost triple the price of a champion game rooster injected with jaguar blood. This Harley also has a sexy Mustang solo seat that massages your ass every sweet twist of the throttle. The seat comes with a bitch pad that can be put on with a single bolt. This pad works in conjunction with the thunder sounding Vanes and Hines pipes that drowns out the passenger's voice so you can hear the sweet thumping of a combustion engine instead of nagging sounds of "my ass is hurting, can we take a break?". There are many other extras on the bike that are not suitable for craigslist, and if you've read some of the shit on craigslist then you know you are in for some ruthless accessories.
******MUST READ*********
If you are currently wearing a pink shirt or sandals, have no tattoos, never shot gunned a PBR, a vegetarian, over 60, never owned a bike before, eat a chic-filet without your wife or girlfriend, shave your legs or arms, put gel in your hair, order a 'virgin' anything, never killed something, go to a Salon instead of a Barber Shop, or any combination of the above, DO NOT WASTE MY TIME AND CONTACT ME. THIS BIKE IS TOO BRUTAL AND MANLY FOR YOU!!!!
::025:: everybody knows how manly them Hardly dudes (and Women!) are....Ya gotta be tough to ride with a do-rag, chaps, vest and fingerless gloves. I've been riding for 47 years and I've still not figured out how to fall off and not hit my head, butt, arms or fingers.... O
Maybe all the tattoos do something to your hide? I dunno why, but I got tired of dressing up and playing pirate about 55 years ago when I was 8 and never really had any desire to do it again.....I guess if we were all alike it would be a pretty dull world though, huh? What really kills me is that these guys really believe they've got the fastest things on the road... Weird. I actually had one of these characters (pirate suit and all) try to race my old 1050 Tiger once....(short race since I lost sight of him in the rearviews after the first hill.
Maybe all the tattoos do something to your hide? I dunno why, but I got tired of dressing up and playing pirate about 55 years ago when I was 8 and never really had any desire to do it again.....I guess if we were all alike it would be a pretty dull world though, huh? What really kills me is that these guys really believe they've got the fastest things on the road... Weird. I actually had one of these characters (pirate suit and all) try to race my old 1050 Tiger once....(short race since I lost sight of him in the rearviews after the first hill.
Scoobynut
Member
Typical insecure Harley rider. What a complete tool.
I like it. Will plagiarize it when I eventually sell my Tenere, with something like this:
Feast your eyes on the most badass Adventure motorcycle in the US of A. This panty dropper is a 2012 Super Duper Tenere with 50,000 ass kicking, goat path navigating, who-cares-if-the-asphalt-ends miles on it. This beast of a bike doesn't have sissy shiny chrome all over it that reflects the sun straight into your eyes so you lose your chance to flip off the image-obsessed “bad boy” hogs outside bars, or Arian-made ADV pretenders parked at a local Starbucks - who ignore you because they know they are on the bike that they think that you wish you could of had. Instead, this bike will not let you make friends with your local motorcycle mechanic, as you may very well never see him, unlike those others who have their mechanics designated as both heirs and godparents, due to their omnipresence in your life. This aftermarket armor-plated pack horse not only looks brutal but causes everyone who sees you on your bike to wish they had balls the size of yours to ride anywhere that you care to venture, instead of drinking Bud or latte’s and dreaming, and hadn't spent all their banker bunks on their expensive and over-priced high-maintenance delicate fragile mechanical flowers that cost triple the price of a real, modern, and function-over-superficial aesthetics mechanical marvels injected with bighorn blood. This Tenere also has an unsexy OEM seat that won’t have a chance to sore your ass as chances are you will be standing on the pegs, barreling across a ridge line, in areas so remote that any cell phone that you brought along might as well be used as a kickstand foot support pad. The seat comes with pillion and a carrying capacity that will allow you to not only carry the support crew (we don’t denigrate our soul mates as “bitches” because of our continual need to cover up our cerebral and physical shortcomings with continual imaginary machismo bravado), but an extra set of tires, a complete set of camping gear, additional -yet unneeded - parts, winch, the kitchen sink, and a plethora of all sorts of stuff we will probably not use – but take anyway just because we can and won’t even feel the load. This pillion works in conjunction with the pleasant sound emanating from pipes from the torquey and never-complaining crossplane inline twin that won’t drown out the passengers continuous “ooh’s” and “awe’s” and gasps in ecstasy about the scenery and places your ride will bring you to, so caught up in the experience that nary a word is uttered such as "my ass is hurting, can we take a break”, only to reward you in spades once the day’s riding is done and you are snuggly tucked into your conjoined sleeping bag. There are many other extras on the bike that are not suitable for craigslist, and if you've read some of the shit on craigslist then you know you are in for a ton of accessories, which you can well afford because you haven’t spent all your cash on image. ::022::
******MUST READ*********
If you are currently wearing black leather, have little visible skin through your confluent tattoos, rarely get below 0.8% BAC, have every piece of H-D or Beemer gear because you pride yourself as an anti-corporate individual, under 18 (mentally, not chronologically), never owned a functioning bike before, eat exclusively fried or grilled food with your “momma” , could stand in as an extra with little make-up for a Planet of the Apes movie, rarely wash your hair, need to mix a fine scotch with Coke, never remove your bandana or skull cap even at the Barber Shop, or any combination of the above, DO NOT WASTE MY TIME AND CONTACT ME. THIS BIKE IS TOO REAL AND MANLY FOR YOU!!!! ::26::
Feast your eyes on the most badass Adventure motorcycle in the US of A. This panty dropper is a 2012 Super Duper Tenere with 50,000 ass kicking, goat path navigating, who-cares-if-the-asphalt-ends miles on it. This beast of a bike doesn't have sissy shiny chrome all over it that reflects the sun straight into your eyes so you lose your chance to flip off the image-obsessed “bad boy” hogs outside bars, or Arian-made ADV pretenders parked at a local Starbucks - who ignore you because they know they are on the bike that they think that you wish you could of had. Instead, this bike will not let you make friends with your local motorcycle mechanic, as you may very well never see him, unlike those others who have their mechanics designated as both heirs and godparents, due to their omnipresence in your life. This aftermarket armor-plated pack horse not only looks brutal but causes everyone who sees you on your bike to wish they had balls the size of yours to ride anywhere that you care to venture, instead of drinking Bud or latte’s and dreaming, and hadn't spent all their banker bunks on their expensive and over-priced high-maintenance delicate fragile mechanical flowers that cost triple the price of a real, modern, and function-over-superficial aesthetics mechanical marvels injected with bighorn blood. This Tenere also has an unsexy OEM seat that won’t have a chance to sore your ass as chances are you will be standing on the pegs, barreling across a ridge line, in areas so remote that any cell phone that you brought along might as well be used as a kickstand foot support pad. The seat comes with pillion and a carrying capacity that will allow you to not only carry the support crew (we don’t denigrate our soul mates as “bitches” because of our continual need to cover up our cerebral and physical shortcomings with continual imaginary machismo bravado), but an extra set of tires, a complete set of camping gear, additional -yet unneeded - parts, winch, the kitchen sink, and a plethora of all sorts of stuff we will probably not use – but take anyway just because we can and won’t even feel the load. This pillion works in conjunction with the pleasant sound emanating from pipes from the torquey and never-complaining crossplane inline twin that won’t drown out the passengers continuous “ooh’s” and “awe’s” and gasps in ecstasy about the scenery and places your ride will bring you to, so caught up in the experience that nary a word is uttered such as "my ass is hurting, can we take a break”, only to reward you in spades once the day’s riding is done and you are snuggly tucked into your conjoined sleeping bag. There are many other extras on the bike that are not suitable for craigslist, and if you've read some of the shit on craigslist then you know you are in for a ton of accessories, which you can well afford because you haven’t spent all your cash on image. ::022::
******MUST READ*********
If you are currently wearing black leather, have little visible skin through your confluent tattoos, rarely get below 0.8% BAC, have every piece of H-D or Beemer gear because you pride yourself as an anti-corporate individual, under 18 (mentally, not chronologically), never owned a functioning bike before, eat exclusively fried or grilled food with your “momma” , could stand in as an extra with little make-up for a Planet of the Apes movie, rarely wash your hair, need to mix a fine scotch with Coke, never remove your bandana or skull cap even at the Barber Shop, or any combination of the above, DO NOT WASTE MY TIME AND CONTACT ME. THIS BIKE IS TOO REAL AND MANLY FOR YOU!!!! ::26::
We need a Like button.........
Attachments
The text of that CL post reminds me of the back label on Stone Brewing's Arrogant Bastard Ale. It reads like this...
Ar-ro-gance (ar’ogans) n.
The act or quality of being arrogant; haughty; undue assumption; overbearing conceit.
Arrogant Bastard Ale: This is an aggressive ale. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territory, maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it’s made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beer will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make a beer taste better. Perhaps you’re mouthing your words as you read this.
BTW - if you get a chance, try it out. Good stuff.
Ar-ro-gance (ar’ogans) n.
The act or quality of being arrogant; haughty; undue assumption; overbearing conceit.
Arrogant Bastard Ale: This is an aggressive ale. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territory, maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it’s made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beer will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make a beer taste better. Perhaps you’re mouthing your words as you read this.
BTW - if you get a chance, try it out. Good stuff.
Will do, merchant, even though we Northwesterners are pretty arrogant on our own microbrews. ::025::
However, nothing wrong with being arrogant if there is some real substance behind it. I think what most people really detest is not "walking the talk", or arrogance on something as superficial as image
However, nothing wrong with being arrogant if there is some real substance behind it. I think what most people really detest is not "walking the talk", or arrogance on something as superficial as image
Dirt_Dad
Well-Known Member
Founding Member
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You have to wonder about the Harley seller. Is he really the Tool his words try to make him sound? His write up is actually pretty creative and well crafted. Not exactly the writing skills you would expect someone with the stated outlook to posses. I'm just suspicious. Did the owner of that bike really write it? Did he threaten his mother's accountant to write it for him? Could he even read what the accountant wrote for him? It's just not adding up.
Nice parody SalmoSam. I'm fully confident you are plenty smart enough to have written your response. ::008::
Nice parody SalmoSam. I'm fully confident you are plenty smart enough to have written your response. ::008::
EricV
Riding, farkling, riding...
2011 Site Supporter
2012 Site Supporter
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Good Super Ten ads would read something like:
Goes anywhere, yep, been there too. Rarely washed, plate backer not included. 100k+, still got more miles left.
Goes anywhere, yep, been there too. Rarely washed, plate backer not included. 100k+, still got more miles left.
Thanks, Creggur. Forgot that you could also change the default background of the forum and many do. Chose yellow to make it stand out from the original.
Damn, you caught me. I used a ghost writer. >
I am not sure that it is fair to lump those who want the badass image on weekends as lower on the IQ scale. It's an escape, just like the ADV image can be. I know a lot of professional (professors, MD's, lawyers, etc.) who play as weekend 'bad asses" on their hogs and would love the humor in that CL ad. It IS tongue and cheek (or could be, if it isn't). Motorcycles are an escape and I bet that is why most of us ride. Within that there are various factions. I have met a lot of ... shall we say ... "cerebrally-challenged" ADV riders, as I am sure you have. Of course most of those are Beermer riders but we can't all be intelligent ST owners, can we? ::025:: (Just kidding, Beemer riders).
Damn, you caught me. I used a ghost writer. >
I am not sure that it is fair to lump those who want the badass image on weekends as lower on the IQ scale. It's an escape, just like the ADV image can be. I know a lot of professional (professors, MD's, lawyers, etc.) who play as weekend 'bad asses" on their hogs and would love the humor in that CL ad. It IS tongue and cheek (or could be, if it isn't). Motorcycles are an escape and I bet that is why most of us ride. Within that there are various factions. I have met a lot of ... shall we say ... "cerebrally-challenged" ADV riders, as I am sure you have. Of course most of those are Beermer riders but we can't all be intelligent ST owners, can we? ::025:: (Just kidding, Beemer riders).
MarkM
New Member
LOL! I’m picturing the seller is a liberal arts college student wearing Birkenstocks, sitting in a Starbucks sipping a latté as he puts together the perfect ad for this bike. The spelling and grammar are way too good for the kind of Harley rider described therein. I got a laugh out of it and it’s getting lots of attention, so I’d call that successful advertising. ::008::
A Harley rider in Birkenstocks sitting in Starbucks?????? Can't picture that. ::025::
yankeerider
New Member
Give this guy a cookie. He wrote a great ad even if it was delusional. Most Harley's are great for cruising around town with your lady and kinda nice on group rides but will never be "bad ass" as far as power and speed go. I had a really nice late 90's Harley Heritage for about a month until I tried a long-ride. The only time I ever aborted a long-ride completely. My wife was pissed when I wanted to trade it for a Honda ST1300 after a month. I'm not a Harley hater. Most of my friends ride them. It's just not the ride for me. I never did dress like a pirate but have been accused of dressing like a "power ranger" on sport bikes. Even now It's AGATT. Over 200K with no serious road rash.
XtreemLee
BAMF
I think he captured the way most poseur's think about their bikes.
Clifford
Member
I wonder if this Ad was written by the guy on the Harley that tried to show off in front of me today.
We were both about to enter a Highway on ramp, he from one direction me from the other. I was ahead of him by about 50 feet to the turn and he tried to get in front of me and let me hear his pipes. Little did he know I had the Sport Mode button flipped on at that time and I once I got somewhat pointed in the right direction I hit the throttle in second gear and the front wheel started waving "Good Day" at the Noonday Sun.
I hit the Hiighway at around a ton and never saw him again.
I even slowed down for him!!!!!!
Which was odd because the next off ramp was 8 miles down the road.
He had time!
I love Pirates!!!!! So much fun to play with...
SalmoSam, I like your Ad better.
We were both about to enter a Highway on ramp, he from one direction me from the other. I was ahead of him by about 50 feet to the turn and he tried to get in front of me and let me hear his pipes. Little did he know I had the Sport Mode button flipped on at that time and I once I got somewhat pointed in the right direction I hit the throttle in second gear and the front wheel started waving "Good Day" at the Noonday Sun.
I hit the Hiighway at around a ton and never saw him again.
I even slowed down for him!!!!!!
Which was odd because the next off ramp was 8 miles down the road.
He had time!
I love Pirates!!!!! So much fun to play with...
SalmoSam, I like your Ad better.