Wife....

[Gregory]

Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height ?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight ?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes ?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sheriff: Color of hair ?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sheriff: What was she wearing ?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sheriff: What kind of car did she go in ?
Husband: She went in my truck.

Sheriff: What kind of truck was it ?
Husband : A 2016 pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up.

Sheriff: Take it easy sir ,
we'll find your truck!!!

 

[HBLQRider]

Made me laugh! ::025::

 

[JRE]

 

[BadNews]

I have heard the first one, but this? ^^^^^^. Priceless! ::025::

 

[Maxified]

When female minds are embittered, their malignity is generally exerted in a rigorous and spiteful supervision of domestic affairs.

Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784

 

[Madhatter]

needed a laugh today... thanks guys.

 

[TNRyder]

Stanley was an adventurous, gregarious man who was loved by everyone. He was out one day and had a horrible accident on his S10. Stanley was killed and his face was terribly disfigured because he decided to ride only a short distance to the store without his helmet or identification.

Well the remains were taken to the mortuary for storage and identification. Someone told the coroner it might be Stanley because he was wearing Gaerne touring boots like Stanley always did. So, the coroner placed a call to Stanley’s riding buddies Cooter and Gomer and asked them to come by and see if this was their friend.

Later, Cooter comes running into the coroners office crying and pleading,”please don’t let it be Stanley”. The coroner settled him down and said,”let’s take a look and maybe it’s not.” So they walked over to the table and the coroner pulled back the sheet exposing the face. It was so disfigured Cooter said, “I can’t tell flip him over.” Cooter looked at his ass and said, “No it’s not Stanley, he only has one asshole.” The coroner said, “Ok” and turned the body face up again. Just as he started to cover up the body again. Gomer comes running in and screaming, “No, not Stanley!” But when he got to the table he said,”The face is so messed up I can’t tell. Would you flip him over?” The coroner flipped the body over once again and Gomer look closely at the ass and like Cooter declared, “Nope it’s only got one asshole so it ain’t Stanley.” The Coroner was flabbergasted. He asked, “Why do you too believe it’s not Stanley by just looking at his ass?” Cooter stepped forward and indignantly said, “Whenever we would go riding and would stop for a refreshment at a bar, everyone would holler out, ‘here comes Stanley with the two assholes!”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[eemsreno]

He must ride a Super Tenere
Pull the EFI fuse
Hold throttle wide open.

 

[Sierra1]

I read once that "women's minds are like spaghetti, and men's are like waffles". Humorous , with a nugget of truth.