Colloquialisms - - Ultimate List

[bigbob]

I could go all night....

So keep going. Please!

 

[Dogdaze]

"The wheel is spinning but the hamster has long gone"

 

[Squibb]

"As thick as two short planks"

No......... I reckon the problem is that he is 'As short as two thick planks'

 

[Terminus]

This kind of thing is great sport where I grew up in Oklahoma......and where I live in Texas

"not the brightest light on the porch"

"sometimes you just gotta feed the monkey and watch him shit"

"the older I get the better I was"

"all hat, no cattle"

"the bigger the truck, the smaller the cowboy"

"strong as an Ox and at least twice as smart"

I could go all night....

Awesome! That is what I suspected. These sayings are very regional. Most of these I have never heard of. I think "all hat, no cattle" is my favorite. ::025:: ::026::

 

[Terminus]

::025:: ::025:: I'll have to remember that, but this colleague of mine doesn't stop at spoonerisms. Other ones I've heard him say:

"That's going to be a whole can of Pandora's boxes"
"Pretty soon before you know it, everything's in a downward sparrow"
"Don't count your lucky chickens"

The funny thing is he doesn't realize he's doing it and has no sense of humor when you catch him doing one.

Your colleague reminds me of a past president we had....

Over in the UK they have Spoonerisms.....

over here they are known as Bushisms

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/bushisms/2009/01/ws_greatest_hits.html

We have a lot in common I am thinking!

 

[Checkswrecks]

Listening to W was always funny. He was always "misunderestimated" and was the guy who goofed up the old "Fool me one, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." His classic version was "Fool me once, shame on you. You can't get fooled again."
One of my favorites was when he announced that ticket counters and airplanes would be flying out of one of the DC airports after 9-11. We joked about how tough it was going to be to run the airport with no ticket counters.

 

[mobyfubar]

A few fries short of a Happy Meal

Dumber than a sack of hammers

Dumber than a box of rocks

The light is on, but no one's home

If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose

Not playing with a full deck

 

[WJBertrand]

When you die, you don’t feel anything, but it’s hard on everyone else. The same is true if you’re stupid.


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[fac191]

All hat and no cattle was a favourite of JR Ewing, he was a character in a series which was very popular this side of the pond.

 

[Sierra1]

....JR Ewing, he was a character in a series which was very popular this side of the pond.

::025:: )

 

[Boondocker]

I love colloquialisms and hate when people say something that sounds almost right but merely proves they are too illiterate to know the saying or what it really means.

A lot of gear heads on this forum, so some of you might appreciate and get to use this one.
I asked to borrow a screwdriver from a coworker. As he reluctantly handed it over, he looked me in the eye and with a straight face said, "You know you need to be 10% smarter than the tool your using."

 

[pspe225]

"He's as sharp as a sack of wet mice."

Heard that one on a Three Stooges film festival.

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[bob dirt]

I love colloquialisms and hate when people say something that sounds almost right but merely proves they are too illiterate to know the saying or what it really means.

A lot of gear heads on this forum, so some of you might appreciate and get to use this one.
I asked to borrow a screwdriver from a coworker. As he reluctantly handed it over, he looked me in the eye and with a straight face said, "You know you need to be 10% smarter than the tool your using."

I always told my techs when they couldn't figure out something and I had to go out and assist them..."You have to be smarter than what you are working on"

 

[Heresjeff]

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[rid34fun]

My wonderful wife is from Kentucky and she had two funny ones. On our first date after having a nice dinner she said "whew, I am as full as a tick on a dogs butt" and then when it came time to pay she said " I'm so poor I can hardly pay attention". We got married a year later, she makes me laugh "everday " as she says without the "y".