flying stinging ickey nasty crawling encounters of the buggy kind...

Madhatter

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got to be some stories out there .... what wasn't funny at the time sometimes is funny in retrospect... so ill start..... and since spring has sprung in central texas it going to be happening to some one soon... I like to ride with my visor open, some times you pay for that... two years ago in march , the temperature is in the 60s , I'm going to the store to purchase something . brand new tenere under my butt, cruising down slaughter lane in south Austin... turn left on congress, catch 3 gears, running about 45mph... and I see it coming, not sure what it is , but its coming. now the trajectory of the flying thing does not seem to be a threat so I'm wondering what it is... what it is is a honey bee, it veers suddenly into my path.... no worries, my windshield will stop it.... no , it goes over windshield and hits me between the eyes , had to be butt first, and the pain begins... oww!!! now I'm starting to panic a bit, wondering were are the cars that around me second ago.... this thing is starting to hurt and ive got to stop some where... calm down is my thoughts and I find a drive way I can pull into... I stop and look into mirror and the bee is hanging by her butt between my eyes..... so after I clear that up I continue on to the store, throbbing pain slowly subsiding.... but now I look like Neanderthal man, scarring the little kids... took three days to look normal again... still like my visor open.....
 

talcon

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My favorite bee story now... last year I'm riding with two friends on our dual-sports in the San Juan mountains of Colorado... we're heading toward a remote fire lookout tower (Benchmark Lookout Tower) and driving down a two-lane to get to the dirt roads leading that way. I'm in the back, and my friend in the middle starts jerking around on his bike and shaking his head.. next thing you know he's braking hard and pulling over. I went wide around him not wanting to stop that fast, and made a U-turn a few hundred feet down the road. By the time I get back to him, he's got helmet and jacket off, and his shirt off - so he's bare-chested. He found the lid to a storage bin down in the ditch, and he's running back and forth on the shoulder, arms over his head while smacking himself on the back with the storage lid. After I stopped laughing hysterically - I asked him what was wrong? He said a bee flew into his jacket, got behind him and it was still stinging him! I assured him the bee was long gone... examined his back and found the stinger, and removed it. The image of him smacking himself on the back with the storage bin lid makes me laugh every time I think about it.
 

echo_four_romeo

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Princeton, Texas
A few years back I'm riding into south Texas with some friends and noticed the road we were on seemed a little odd. I couldn't quite place it for the first few miles. I thought me and the bike were getting hit with pebbles. Finally it hits me, literally! I get a huge splat of something right across my visor and I can't see. I crack the visor enough to safely pull over to the shoulder and remove my helmet. I have two grasshoppers smeared across the visor and 3 or 4 more across the peak of my Shoei Hornet. I clean the helmet and walk back to the bike, it's now overheating. I shut it down and check the radiator, nothing leaking. Look inside the front and it is clogged with bits and pieces of grasshopper. I then realized it smelled awful! Anytime for the rest of that year, no matter how much I cleaned that bike, as soon is it hit operating temperature all I smelled was roasted grasshopper.
 

HBLQRider

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Madhatter said:
got to be some stories out there .... what wasn't funny at the time sometimes is funny in retrospect... so ill start..... and since spring has sprung in central texas it going to be happening to some one soon... I like to ride with my visor open, some times you pay for that... two years ago in march , the temperature is in the 60s , I'm going to the store to purchase something . brand new tenere under my butt, cruising down slaughter lane in south Austin... turn left on congress, catch 3 gears, running about 45mph... and I see it coming, not sure what it is , but its coming. now the trajectory of the flying thing does not seem to be a threat so I'm wondering what it is... what it is is a honey bee, it veers suddenly into my path.... no worries, my windshield will stop it.... no , it goes over windshield and hits me between the eyes , had to be butt first, and the pain begins... oww!!! now I'm starting to panic a bit, wondering were are the cars that around me second ago.... this thing is starting to hurt and ive got to stop some where... calm down is my thoughts and I find a drive way I can pull into... I stop and look into mirror and the bee is hanging by her butt between my eyes..... so after I clear that up I continue on to the store, throbbing pain slowly subsiding.... but now I look like Neanderthal man, scarring the little kids... took three days to look normal again... still like my visor open.....
Had me laughing out loud!
 

klunsford

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In 1980 while stationed at Ft Bliss Tx. Some friends of mine and I went riding to Carlsbad, NM. We were riding down the open highway when it turned dark all of a sudden. As we emerged from the huge honey bee swarm I realized that I couldn't see out of my face shield (Full face Bell Helmet) and that I was a sticky mess with bees crawling all over me. Most were half dead. One of the guys was wearing a pair of shorts and you can just imagine where a good amount of those bees went.... yep... YIKES! Since there was no where to stop, we kept going until we got to NM and basically took a bath in the sink at a gas station....
 

talcon

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RoboCop said:
In 1980 while stationed at Ft Bliss Tx. Some friends of mine and I went riding to Carlsbad, NM. We were riding down the open highway when it turned dark all of a sudden. As we emerged from the huge honey bee swarm I realized that I couldn't see out of my face shield (Full face Bell Helmet) and that I was a sticky mess with bees crawling all over me. Most were half dead. One of the guys was wearing a pair of shorts and you can just imagine where a good amount of those bees went.... yep... YIKES! Since there was no where to stop, we kept going until we got to NM and basically took a bath in the sink at a gas station....
Yikes is right! I got swarmed one time on a canoe trip - got about 40 bee stings that day - thankfully none on my giblets!
 

Madhatter

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bee swarms are a scary thing at times.. ive passed through them in big trucks , cars, pickups ,and had them pass over head at least twice while riding a bike... I came back from lunch to find a swarm hanging from drivers side mirror.... they hang on till you get to about 60 mph....
 

cliffo

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last year while riding on the 101, just South of Santa Maria, CA. I had a wasp go up my left sleeve as I was doing about 75 MPH, felt like somebody had stuck me with a hot ice pick. Need less to say at that point I almost forgot I was riding the bike and franticly tried to see what was up my sleeve, burning through my arm. Stupid little wasp. Had a lump on my arm for a few days after that. Then this past September brother and I went on a ride to Colorado. There were some kinda black bugs that when they ricocheted off the face shields of the helmets, the sound could be heard over the intercoms. Then there were the crazy birds. You know the ones that always seem like they are gonna hit the windshield of the car when your driving... Well, we learned they do the same damn thing when your on a bike. Just a lot of ducking for sure.
 

EricV

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Noobs.

Riding in northern Nevada and around a corner I come... only to find the road is moving... the entire road is covered in a wave of moving insects. Mormon cricket invasion. It's like something from another world. The ground is moving with them, the smell is something awful and the gore from being run over is SLICK. It was far worse than grasshoppers in waves of bouncing, smacking, splattering randomness that I encountered near Fields, OR a few years before. (found carcasses inside the fairing for years after that.) Or the mating honey bees that flew into my jacket outside El Toro air station in the '80s. Or even the swarm of bees that covered me after the truck carrying the hives bounced over the RR tracks and lost some hives, only to have the queen land on my black leather jacket, followed by the rest of the hive. Bees are heavy, btw. The truck driver had a smoker and after a while and him getting a hive box together he smoked them off. I was late to work and the boss never did believe me as to what happened.

Ask the UK guys about Jusehead or the Southern guys about june bugs. That will leave a mark. ??? Visor up while riding? Dork. Use the safety device like it's designed to be used or don't bother at all. Man up.
 

Madhatter

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we get cricket invasions here at times , but thankfully not as bad as the morman cricket invasion you have described .... that would be (I don't have a word for it this morning) nasty....I guess nasty will work... and I do prefer visor open, I wear glasses so its not like I have no protection for my eyeballs... but some times you pay......
 

Madhatter

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so were are the stories... all the riders riding all those miles and a hand full of stories... I was fishing in talkeetna Alaska , held it in one hand and fanned with the other so the mosquitos wouldn't feast on it... and had to watch out for bears... true story... millions of miles ridden collectively, all those camping trips, and nothing funny happened... come on guys, share...
 

timothy.davis

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Not a bee but a bird. About 1979 timeframe ,riding two up on a 1976 KZ900 just north of MCAS Cherry point North Carolina. Was young and dumb and had the bike going full out when the covey of quail flew up. The one that collided with me struck right in the chest, felt like someone hit me with a baseball bat. I think I was breaking and down shifting when the not dead highly agitated quail started doing the high-speed ticked off quail Watusi dance in my crouch. This is a very unpleasant going on near a part of your body that should not be. For some reason unbeknownst to me I stood enough to let the bird blow through. I guess at the time this was a logical thing to do but I was riding two up and the Watusi dancing quail was now doing a number on my passenger. This resulted in the passenger taking aggressive evasive maneuvers on the still moving bike. Somehow got the bike stopped and the Watusi dancing quail evicted.

Insects the worst was during a 57 day long canoe trip starting 500 miles North of the US, Canadian border and ending 700 miles North of the border at Fort Prince of Whales on Hudson's Bay. The Churchill river before they dammed it up.
 

Madhatter

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funny story timothy, this thread aint just about bugs, though my title sure suggest that it does... probably instead of buggy used ' any "... so far ive managed to evade our feathered friends... a marshmellow with enough speed will leave some mark I hear...
 

eemsreno

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Does a Bee [hornet] story count if I was in a truck?
I’ll tell it anyway.
A few years back I picked up my dad and took him with me to a off road riding park in the winter.
I mostly just rode on the MX track that day while dad putted around on the trails.
At the end of the day dad told my he seen one of them big hornets nest in a tree.
I followed him out to see it and it was a very big one.
I told him I’d like to cut it down and take it home so the kids could take it to school and show it.
We did and took it back to the truck, when we was loading up I decided the wind would destroy it in the back of the truck on the way home. So I stuck it between us up in the cab.
Well it was a cool winters day so we had the heater running on the way home. About the time we got close to a town the hornets started thawing out and coming out to investigate.
I looked down and one way crawling on my crotch area [ these things are huge now ] I was panicking about the hornet situation when I hadn't noticed we drove into reduced speed area of town.
There just happened to be a cop radaring and he pulls us over. As soon as we stop we come pouring out of the cab and the cop said what in the world is going on here? I showed him the hornets nest in the cab, and he just shook his head and laughed. I moved the nest to the bed of the truck and we made it home without getting stung.
 

Scoobynut

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I struck a bee with my chest once and it somehow flew up past my chin bar into my helmet after the impact; I didn't know it was already dead at the time, but it was floating around in front of my face from the air getting into the helmet (I was on a naked bike w/no windshield). Of course, this happened right at the time I was riding the curviest part of the road I was on. When you think there's a live bee inside your helmet your riding line gets VERY sloppy -- to the point that I was worried I was going to drive off the road. It took a lot of concentration to eventually slow down and get off the road.
I also had a bee or wasp go right up my sleeve when I was on the Super T. How it got past the hand guards I have no idea, but in any case, as soon as it got inside the sleeve it stung me and so I started whacking at my arm and with every whack I got another sting. I think it was seven altogether. When I finally pulled over, I ripped my jacket off after dancing around for a little while. My son was riding behind me and thought it was pretty funny.
It was nearly 100 degrees out and the stings were giving me the chills which somehow is not a very pleasant feeling when it's that hot out! ???
 

Madhatter

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them wasp and hornets can be a dangerous thing, people die from stings at times... but when you survive it becomes a good story be it in a truck or up your sleeve...this is an adventure bike forum after all. cant wait to read some more good stories.....
 

Madhatter

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in 1981 a buddy and myself are on a ride out side of lockhart texas . he is leading on his kz 650 I'm on my kz750. got to remember that safety gear is not all that common , a leather out fit by some Harley dealer I think aerosticth is just getting started ( not sure of when exactly) . so our gear tended to be what ever you felt you might need to get some protection... so the gear today was 3/4 helmets , western shirts , blue jeans , cowboy boots, (this is texas) maybe some work gloves... so we running down the highway with my friend in the lead when he gets hard on the brakes. as I role up next to him to see whats the matter , I hear him yelling , wasp wasp wasp.... it went down his shirt.... bees or wasp ill pick bees any day, they only sting once... the good thing about western shirts is no buttons, he was out of that shirt before he was completely stopped I think... now that's not a very funny story, wasp and bee stings hurt, and sooner or later one is going to get you... the funny part of the story is how we thought we were cool in our gear( think easy rider with out choppers , we look a little dorky in photos of that time).... he sold his bike not long after that, still wonder why....
 

Philb714

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Years ago I was giving a mate a lift home on the back of my GPz750 Turbo...
A bright sunny summers day, not a cloud in the sky, lovely and warm (Unusual for the UK)... anyway I was wearing a leather jacket & jeans that day, riding along I felt a few 'thunks' as various bugs hit me as we rode home (took no notice of that... regular & usual occurrence right?)... So I gets to his house, I put my feet down to steady the bike as he gets off.... then I sat back down ready to take off....

'Oooo' what the fuck was that??!!!! A sharp pain in the crotch of my jeans suddenly erupted.... 'Fuckin Hell' that hurts!:eek: When I looked down there was a rather large angry looking wasp looking at me! The bastard must of been stunned after flying into me, then when I stood up he must of fell off my jacket onto the seat waiting for my nut sack to squash him..
I couldn't sit down on the bike as the pain was that intense, so I rode home standing on the pegs...
By the time I got home my wife was waiting at the front of the house pissing herself laughing (My so called 'mate' had rung her to tell her what had happened.... twat!).
After getting off the bike & walking into the house like John Wayne after a long day in the saddle, I dropped my jeans and saw that my nut sack was the size of a tennis ball! o_O
I asked the wife if she wanted to suck the poison out, but she declined... :(

I always check my seat now when I stop...
 

tallpaul

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Whitworth, Rochdale, UK
Years ago I was giving a mate a lift home on the back of my GPz750 Turbo...
A bright sunny summers day, not a cloud in the sky, lovely and warm (Unusual for the UK)... anyway I was wearing a leather jacket & jeans that day, riding along I felt a few 'thunks' as various bugs hit me as we rode home (took no notice of that... regular & usual occurrence right?)... So I gets to his house, I put my feet down to steady the bike as he gets off.... then I sat back down ready to take off....

'Oooo' what the fuck was that??!!!! A sharp pain in the crotch of my jeans suddenly erupted.... 'Fuckin Hell' that hurts!:eek: When I looked down there was a rather large angry looking wasp looking at me! The bastard must of been stunned after flying into me, then when I stood up he must of fell off my jacket onto the seat waiting for my nut sack to squash him..
I couldn't sit down on the bike as the pain was that intense, so I rode home standing on the pegs...
By the time I got home my wife was waiting at the front of the house pissing herself laughing (My so called 'mate' had rung her to tell her what had happened.... twat!).
After getting off the bike & walking into the house like John Wayne after a long day in the saddle, I dropped my jeans and saw that my nut sack was the size of a tennis ball! o_O
I asked the wife if she wanted to suck the poison out, but she declined... :(

I always check my seat now when I stop...
Sorry but I had to laugh!
 

Sierra1

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Joshua TX
. . . . I dropped my jeans and saw that my nut sack was the size of a tennis ball! o_O . . . .
I feel your pain. July '87, Saturday, Panama City FL, Navy Dive School. I was putting on a pair of pants when I felt a sudden OUCH! I look down to see a scorpion crawling on then floor. Long story short. . . . the Doc told me that there would be some swelling, and since it was Saturday night. . . . use it to my advantage.

Edit: just realized I didn't say where I was stung. . . . right testicle. :oops:
 
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