Corporate Terminology Definitions

Squibb

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Messages
1,067
Location
Bedford, UK
Just a bit of light amusement, mainly for those of you who who have worked in a large Corporate Office/Government.

The first definition made me think of 2112 aka Bryan's tag line ;D

*TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

*BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

*SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.

*SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

*CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

*PRAIRIE DOGGING..
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

*SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

*SWAMP DONKEY.
A deeply unattractive person..

*AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

*PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

*OH-NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You've hit 'reply all').

*GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

*MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

*MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

*TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

*PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks

....................... KEN
 

88millimeter

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2013
Messages
247
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Tx
Lol, fantastic. I read your post before i saw your location. I could tell immediately you were from the UK. Even your crude jokes sound classy.
 

2112

It's pronounced 'Twenty-one-twelve'
2014 Site Supporter
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Oct 6, 2014
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Location
Northumberland, UK
You missed my favourite -

A Kronenburg - A lady who looks 16 from behind but 64 from the front !
 
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